We ascend to the 5th floor of the maternity hospital… the labor ward… the sacred place where no ordinary man has ever set foot! A separate room is assigned to us… We settle in… I hear the agonized moans, screams, and cries of the laboring women in the neighboring rooms… some even scratching the walls… and it hits me, WHERE HAVE I LANDED AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN NOW!!!
They insert an IV drip… something is wrong with the needle… I step out into the corridor… and with my booming voice echoing through the entire floor… “SISTEEEEEER!”… all the laboring women fall silent at first… then two of them instantly go into active labor (they even thanked me).
From 5 in the morning until 1 in the afternoon… no smoking, no bathroom breaks, constantly by my wife’s side… I massage her lower back… She notifies the doctors that she needs to give birth URGENTLY… because a refrigerator will be delivered to us at 6 in the evening… By 1 in the afternoon, I feel as exhausted as if I had unloaded an entire train of soiled diapers.
When we moved from the room to the delivery table (or chair)… I wanted to vanish into thin air… collapse… faint… But my consciousness refused to abandon me! The pushing!!! OH MY GOD, CAN THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN??? I AM HERE WITH MY WIFE… CAPILLARIES BURSTING ON MY CHEEKS… EYES BLOODSHOT… (just a little more, and I would have literally “given birth” alongside her… only the product of my labor would have been a surprise for everyone present at the birth) =))))))))))…
An inhuman scream, the LAST push… SILENCE (several moments pass, but it feels like the clock is ticking in slow motion, I sense the hair on my head moving and turning gray)… and our little miracle, announcing her arrival to all of humanity with the most beautiful and genuine cry, declares that she is born… she’s ready to embrace life… and she couldn’t care less about anyone else in the room, except for mom and dad.
I’m informed that we have a girl… I stand there, tears flowing freely without any attempt to hide them… everyone who witnessed the “birth” looks at me with admiration… and congratulates… and I stand there… with snot running and bawling… Dear women… THANK YOU…!!!